January 30, 2017

I'm going to cultivate a "Can't Do" attitude

I feel overwhelmingly antsy lately. I want so badly to DO something. Well, let me be more clear: I want to DO something that makes me a lot of money. I want to make stuff that tons of people want to buy, or make amazing videos that go viral! Or write a book that people buy! Or land an amazing partnership with a company I love. Or have people buy stuff from the links I post. Or have a YouTube channel that makes thousands of dollars a month!

Perhaps my parents were too generous in their praise and encouragement growing up. Perhaps I have an unrealistic perception of my talents and abilities. Perhaps I've watched too many episodes of Shark Tank. Perhaps Pinterest and YouTube has made learning new things too easy, too accessible. My husband is probably right that I have, as he so politely puts it, "a time-management problem." And I definitely spend too much time on social media, observing all the amazing talents and hobbies of my friends (and people I stalk).

The annoying thing is that I know any of those things are possible! I have friends that are doing those things! You can do anything, if you put your mind to it! ...blech.

But the time has come to face the facts. It's time to stop thinking stupid stuff. I need to start cultivating a "can't do" attitude. 

I can't make awesome recipe videos, like Tasty and my other food blogger friends. I don't have the camera equipment set up, and the lighting perplexes me. I don't know how to edit my videos together. And even if I did, its a whole other ballgame getting them optimized and uploaded correctly. The time it would take to research what equipment I need, and they how to pay for the equipment I need is overwhelming. Yes, I know my phone does video (if I delete some stuff first), but I still don't know how to make it look good. If I can't make my videos look halfway decent by the third attempt, I'm out. I can't do awesome recipe videos.

I can't produce makeup or hair tutorial videos. This is related to the above recipe videos, but add on that I can barely get ready by myself, there is no way I'll be able to video that uninterrupted, thanks toddler. Also, do I look at the mirror? Or the camera? Or myself? Ahh... I'm flustered just thinking about it. Plus, I'm pretty sure everyone knows how to put their hair in a ponytail and smear on some BB cream and mascara, which is about where my expertise ends.

Let's face it, I can't start some sort of clothing line or boutique. I have absolutely zero contacts in China to get the manufacturing going. And even if I did find someone, I don't have a couple thousand laying around the finance a bulk order.  I can sew, but not clothes. So that's out.

I can't make 6 figures working from home. My laptop is almost 7 years old, I don't have a nanny or maid or husband that is home for more than 30 minutes before the kids go to bed. I'm on my phone too much as it is, I can't add an online business to that without my battery dying 4 times a day (which is 2 times more than usual). I just don't see it happening.

I can't. That's not my life. This isn't my season. And that's ok. 

I'm going to stop driving myself crazy with the things "I could do" and focus on what I AM doing. Raising kids, keeping my marriage happy, serving in my church, saving money, and playing around with fabric when I get a free afternoon. And writing, which will hopefully start making me millions of dollars...

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