Being a good mom comes from feeling like a good mom, which comes from our thoughts that we really are doing ok.
The sheer number of people that search “how to be a good mom” kind of breaks my heart. I want to give each and every mom a hug and tell her she’s doing a pretty darn good job, and help her come up with a plan to start feeling like a good mom.
Notice I said “feeling” like a good mom instead of “being” a good mom. Because guess what, “good mom” is all subjective opinions and phooey.
Being a good mom isn’t a list of things to do. It isn’t elaborate lunch boxes, or getting everyone to their extra-curricular activities on time. It doesn’t mean perfectly behaved children or kids that get into great colleges.
Being a good mom is actually just believing you are a good mom.
There isn’t anyone in the world that could justifiably write about being a perfect mom. It just isn’t possible.
Good doesn’t mean perfect. At the root of it all, we just need to be confident and at peace with ourselves and that that translates into being a good mom.
What is a good mom?
Being a good mom comes from a place of self love and peace. Being a good mom is confidence in our abilities, and not indulging in comparison to others.
I read this post today about the positive impact of telling other moms they’re doing a good job, and it has really stuck with me.
It made me think about how embarrassed I was when I picked up my toddler from nursery and found out that she had hit two other kids.
It made me think about how upset I was at the lady at Target who made a snarky comment about my wiggly toddler.
It made me think about how worried I am about protecting my new little kindergartner from the ugly pain in the world.
I think so deeply about parenting. How to improve, what I can do differently, how I can tweak their behavior, and how shape their little spirits. I worry all the time that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not good enough. I know I can do better.
The responsibility of being a mother is heavy.
Sometimes I just need someone to remind me, “Its ok. They’re ok. Everything is going to be ok. You are a good mom.”
It made me think about my friends who are surviving on little sleep, or solo parenting for long stretches, or dealing with kids with behavioral or health concerns.
I want to tell them all that its going to be ok, you are a good mom. I see that you’re trying your best. I understand your sincere desire to raise good little kids. I know that you are struggling, but that you will survive. Your children know how much you love them. You are doing a good job.
Being a mom is hard. SO HARD. Let’s all make an extra effort to remind each other that “You are a good mom.”