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How to Be a Good Mom


Being a good mom comes from feeling like a good mom, which comes from our thoughts that we really are doing ok.

The sheer number of people that search “how to be a good mom” kind of breaks my heart. I want to give each and every mom a hug and tell her she’s doing a pretty darn good job, and help her come up with a plan to start feeling like a good mom.

Notice I said “feeling” like a good mom instead of “being” a good mom. Because guess what, “good mom” is all subjective opinions and phooey.

Being a good mom isn’t a list of things to do. It isn’t elaborate lunch boxes, or getting everyone to their extra-curricular activities on time. It doesn’t mean perfectly behaved children or kids that get into great colleges.

Being a good mom is actually just believing you are a good mom.

There isn’t anyone in the world that could justifiably write about being a perfect mom. It just isn’t possible.

Good doesn’t mean perfect. At the root of it all, we just need to be confident and at peace with ourselves and that that translates into being a good mom.

What is a good mom?

Being a good mom comes from a place of self love and peace. Being a good mom is confidence in our abilities, and not indulging in comparison to others.

I read this post today about the positive impact of telling other moms they’re doing a good job, and it has really stuck with me.

It made me think about how embarrassed I was when I picked up my toddler from nursery and found out that she had hit two other kids.

It made me think about how upset I was at the lady at Target who made a snarky comment about my wiggly toddler.

It made me think about how worried I am about protecting my new little kindergartner from the ugly pain in the world.

I think so deeply about parenting. How to improve, what I can do differently, how I can tweak their behavior, and how shape their little spirits. I worry all the time that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not good enough. I know I can do better.

The responsibility of being a mother is heavy.

Sometimes I just need someone to remind me, “Its ok. They’re ok. Everything is going to be ok. You are a good mom.”

It made me think about my friends who are surviving on little sleep, or solo parenting for long stretches, or dealing with kids with behavioral or health concerns.

I want to tell them all that its going to be ok, you are a good mom. I see that you’re trying your best. I understand your sincere desire to raise good little kids. I know that you are struggling, but that you will survive. Your children know how much you love them. You are doing a good job.

Being a mom is hard. SO HARD. Let’s all make an extra effort to remind each other that “You are a good mom.”

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Saturday 2nd of November 2013

I love this Kylie!! It is a wonderful reminder to us moms who try our hardest and still feel like we are coming in short!! I love reading your posts, you cover such a wide range of topics, but you keep it REAL!!! You are a great MOM and an amazing FRIEND!!

Saturday 2nd of November 2013

Oh Brenda, I learn so much from you! You are such a good mom, especially to your teens. My teenagers will thank you for teaching me all your ways! ;) Thanks for always being so nice and supportive.


Friday 1st of November 2013

Thank you so much for this. Sometimes I wonder. I have 4 amazing kids but i dont have custody of them. They live with dad and stepmom. Living in a state where custody is almost always given to mom, people are speechless when I tell them that. They don't understand how i could let that happen. But right now I'm doing what's best for them.

Saturday 2nd of November 2013

What defines a "good mom" is different in every situation. It sounds like you are a wonderful mother who unselfishly wants the best for her kids, regardless of what others think. What lucky kids you have! Thanks for sharing :)


Wednesday 30th of October 2013

This is all good, Kylie and... you really are a very good mom. I love you!

Saturday 2nd of November 2013

Thanks Marnie, love you too!

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